Why do gay men hate trans women

Despite the stereotype, many gay men form deep, lifelong friendships with women—especially straight women. Attitudes towards transgender folks from both queer and cishet 1 people are reflected in the lack of transgender elected officials. Other than trans people themselves, lesbians are by a large margin the demographic most likely to be supportive of trans people.

Real-life relationships are often much warmer and more respectful than the internet suggests. From the Stonewall riots to modern-day activism, women—especially trans women—have been integral to LGBTQ+ progress. Support feminist causes.

In fact, the queer liberation and feminist movements have historically worked hand in hand. The scene at New York City's Stonewall Inn on Saturday, as reported by multiple witnesses on social media, showed how long-simmering tensions between transgender women of color and white gay men.

Social media rewards drama, not nuance. Ask questions without being defensive. Check your biases—especially around femininity. What we sometimes interpret as hatred may actually be discomfort, unresolved trauma, or internalized sexism picked up from society at large.

Still, conflict can arise. From mocking femininity to excluding women from queer events, these behaviors reflect larger cultural issues. Queer spaces should be inclusive, not just for men, but for everyone across the spectrum. This duality sometimes causes friction in feminist spaces, where women expect solidarity but feel sidelined instead.

Think of the flamboyant stylist who makes catty comments about female clients. On the flip side, some gay men feel used—seen as accessories or emotional dumping grounds without receiving the same support in return.

The Gay Men Who

Many gay men adore, admire, and deeply appreciate the women in their lives—mothers, sisters, mentors, friends. Many gay men are proud feminists who actively support women’s rights, bodily autonomy, and gender equality. Others may feel dismissed when their struggles are minimized in queer spaces.

The idea that gay men hate women often stems from surface-level interactions. Some gay men may express misogynistic views—but so do people of every gender and orientation. Platforms like TikTok and Twitter have amplified both the love and the tension between gay men and women.

Some women may feel objectified when gay men comment on their bodies, style, or dating choices. In fact, the queer liberation and feminist movements have historically worked hand in hand. Gay men can still benefit from male privilege, even while facing homophobia.

Still, we must acknowledge that misogyny can exist within the gay community. Or the gay best friend who feels more like a judge than a supporter. And many gay men recognize and honor that. Patriarchy hates gay men because they behave sexually “like women,” it hates lesbianism because lesbians are women who “refuse” to fuck men, and it hates trans people who call bullshit on.

Misunderstandings, stereotypes, and cultural clashes sometimes fuel tension between gay men and women—but beneath it all is a complicated relationship shaped by history, identity, and evolving dynamics. While the simple answer is no, the reality is more nuanced.

Gay men and lesbians who dislike the trans community do exist and are often very loud about it, but they're a definite minority. This blog will focus on historical and ongoing prejudice towards transgender men and women by cisgender gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals.